sick :(

woke up with many coughs and a sore throat… ugh. the cold night caused it i bet. and, had a terrible gastric this afternoon/evening while studying. the first i had actually. was breathing painfully lol. due to coffeeing on an empty stomach. so here am i, resting at home.. while i have this whole stack of readings to-be-looked-through. bahhhh.

it’s gonna be a long weekend.

(countdown: two more weeks!)

for His glory.

caution: long post ahead.

it’s just so frustrating – the fact that you’re missing out on so much in life just because you’re slogging away just so you can survive and live comfortably in the future. not that i’m complaining about having an education – learning new things are always good. but seriously, the requirements of our education system is just too much. hearing the complaints of A level students, the stress that they face, is just getting to me. how one’s education can make one feel demoralized, depressed, stressed…. eventually leading to the neglect of family, friends, God-Moments… it’s so not worth it. and it tears my heart apart to think that my friends are so stressed. sigh.

the whole idea of it is warped. it’s so weird how humans are putting pressure on themselves (not to mention slaving half their lives away, in work and school) just so they are able to get three meals a day, pretty clothes, and a nice house. yessss it’s good to work hard. but the competitiveness, the losing of one’s mind in the pursuit of being the toppest of the toppest, the obsession of wanting a nice car, a big house… it’s too much.

out of observation, and i-can’t-help-but-eavesdrop-because-they’re-talking-so-loudly-it’s-as-if-they-literally-want-me-to-hear-their-conversation-so-i-do-them-the-pleasure,  i see/hear gazillions of pple talking about striving for wealth & riches just so they can catch up with society and it’s accompanying ‘necessities’.  just so they are able to satisfy a part of their unquenchable thirst. the coca cola’s of society. you drink one, you want another. it was named after cocaine in the first place.

in the course of this week, someone pointed out that she ’studies for herself. she doesn’t care about the results, she just focusses on improving. she’s happy about learning, and continues to study joyously. she deflates pressures from her peers, and faces only one competitor – herself.’

gives us something to think about doesn’t it?

not the results, but the process. reminds me of our calling as Christians – to be faithful. an essential, a basic requirement, a necessity, something that, regardless of race religion class education level monetary status physical ability, we can all achieve. as long as we’re humans, we’re able to have relationships. this leaves room for no excuse.

no excuse – no, not even studying ‘for His glory’. like (hypothetical) complains of ‘i’m already studying for His glory, so why do i need to still do long hours of devotion?! i mean, can’t He see that i’m putting so much effort for Him in this aspect of my life already?!’

for His glory. it’s such an overused phrase. a word doesn’t become a word until a specific meaning is attached to it. going by this logic, you ain’t saying nuthin unless you mean it. unless the meaning is attached to it. what gives meaning? sincerity. what gives sincerity? your heart. when you mean it, therefore, you mean it from your heart.

I’m guilty of this – i often say things that i don’t mean, words that come out of my mouth faster than it goes through the channels of my brain and my heart. For His glory, however, takes on a whole new meaning when you mean it from the depths of your heart. many may think that it’s a one-way interaction. eg, living for His glory = you living for Him. this phrase implicitly doesn’t state anything about Him doing anything for you. (not that God didn’t do anything for us..He did everything for us) but yea,placing it in this context, it means that.

however, one doesn’t realize the two-way interaction until ‘for His glory’ comes alive in your daily walk. from my own experience, when we live specifically for His glory, He makes the first move and comes down to take away all your burden, worries and anxieties. this is because, well, when we live for Him we exchange His strength, power love and grace for our feeble self.

before, i had always thought that we had to leave behind our cares and concerns for ourselves because, well, we’re living FOR His glory right? so it’s our total responsibility to take in everything that comes our way, and it’s our responsibility to turn it around so that His glory will be shown. in other words, WE (with the help of no one) do the shinning, WE (with the help of no one) do the living for God. i placed alot of emphasis on OUR part. WE must live up to the high standards of our God. we, taking charge of this mission, this task, of shinning and living for Him. WE must take the burden by ourselves without bothering God. but wait, where does God come in in this process? didn’t the Bible clearly state to Cast all our cares upon Him, and to take up His burden – a burden that is light (wonderful paradox here)?

for His glory doesn’t only meaning doing your part. for His glory also implicitly suggests that YOU let God do HIS part. for His glory means to throw away your agenda, and take on the agenda of God. who sets the agenda for your life now? God. who will see you through your life now that you’re under Him? God. who makes sure that you go through a difficult step with help from above? God. who makes sure you don’t miss out His will for you? God. who will guide you through? God.

for His glory means that you don’t have to worry unnecessarily. about the future, about your life-mate, about your studies.. although of course this is a partnership with Him, with the fine-print ‘do your best, be excellent for Him’ to it.

for His glory therefore means a two way process, an interaction, a direct communication. not a one sided i’m-supposed-to-handle-it burdensome commitment.

to sum it up, for His glory = let go, let God.

p.s He is SUCH a good God that even living/studying for His glory = support from Him. it’s crazily mind boggling, in an amazing awe-ful sorta way.

 

love,

DV.

abcdefg

Uni has been crazy recently. crazy with a capital C. no, wait, not only the C. all should be capitalized. had four projects at hand this week. one due thurs, another friday, and two more on monday. SEA and Sgpore film, to be exact. SEA barely started, Sgpore film’s sorta only halfway done. we havent edited and wrote the report yet.

2.DAYS.MORE.

ugh.

however despite this, despite ALL of this hair pulling and irritating projects, i’ve experienced the Strength and providence of the Father, whose Joy keeps me going & erasing the worry in me! i’m just so glad i just have to do my best and leave the results unto Him…. (received a really bad grade recently but surprisingly i was still smiling & laughing.. in the morning God sorta prepared me so yay i wasnt affected by it. just must learn from all the stupid mistakes)

filming was really fun btw. tedious tiring process plus it was in woodlands (the west looks wayy foreign and weird. the east wins hands down) but it was good had to act as some professional rude uncompassionate and proud person. lol.

okay i gtg now. EDITING TO DO. my weekend will be SO packed omgosh. next week = catch up on sleep and readings(it’s mountaining. could possibly compete with bukit timah hill soon).

BYE! =D

to the treehouse!!

forgot to bring my wallet today!! hahaha. must be the i-havent-woke-up-so-early-in-the-morning-before syndrome, which equated to the unusual blurness tt surfaced within me. such a rare sight right.. hawhawhaw.

i totally enjoyed myself during the play! it was AWESOME. abel, val, charlene and dwayne acted REALLY weellll and the children were really responsive. YAY and i made new lil’ friends wooohooo. was a cowgirl btw. moo. lol. but everyone was laughing at me cos they they thought i was a cow. the children’s laughter is infectious.

went for lunch at 168… and was supposed to meet up with xiong to transfer music but was abit inconvenient so was cancelled. lol. met up with sarah for dinner @ beer garden & then geog project.. went to interview the staff in haagen daz and ice cream chefs! by the time we arrived at ice cream chefs it was alr 930.. but decided to wait for the crowd to disperse so that the interview can begin. turns out the staff’s from ntu – lit major! he was real nice thank God and we managed to get loads of info. wooohoo.

took a cab home (wanting to drop sarah off tamp interchange so tt it’ll be nearer to her straight bus home — she stays woodlands =0) but anw the taxi driver was real nice and since he was gg back to ang mo kio he offered to drive her to ang mo kio station free of charge!! (he was an old man & could be trusted & seemed real nice so yea.. just made sure she got back safe) anyway before she took off to ang mo kio we decided to pray for the cab driver (she planned to share the gospel with him through the journey she even took out all the stuff to prepare to show him about the gospel and stuff before i alighted! and she took the front seat..)…

and she did share with him!! they exchanged emails in the end so that she can further send him christian materials

longg but fulfilling day.

after an extremely long hiatus…

these weeks have been one of the most busiest i’ve ever been… tiring. but i’m so glad for this. i’ve learnt loads – about how to manage my time well, how to prioritize. it’s no small wonder how i can get through the tons of work & projects.. His grace is sufficient.

the sermon that pastor Daph shared about evangelism only fueled the interest in me that has been burning for a few months now. coming to NUS, meeting lots of evangelical friends & hearing them share about their frequent reaching-out (to personal friends) has kinda opened a new dimension for me. being a christian for sooo many years now, the great commission has been drilled into my head, into my value system & beliefs.. but has it been drilled into my heart?

God has (i believe) strategically placed all these friends into my life in order to open my eyes to the things that christians are doing in order to save lost souls, and to also place in me an interest – a hunger – a desire, for me to plant the seed – water the plant – reap the harvest. S showed me how to encapsulate the gospel in six pictures (self drawn) with explanations, questions, and verses. she actually pretended i was a nonchristian and showed me how to do it. i was rly struck by the enthusiasm she showed, all the verses, explanations and pictures she memorized and drawn… the gospel was encapsulated beautifully, with clear pertinent points and apt questions asked. the technicality of it got displaced by her passion and fire within her, something that is rare, precious.

she photocopied the six pages of material that she had gotten this from for me. tell me if anyone wants it yea!

equipping – not only by the Holy Spirit (which is the most impt), but also with strategies are essential.

Im glad for the friends that God gives. the spontaneous prayers we make for each other never fails to touch me, and the prayers are usually spot on for me. It’s dangerous to keep a closed circle though, that is why our aim is to always expand, to always reach out. time is short.

I’m so glad God knows my limitations & my underdeveloped areas in my Christian life. He has provided opportunity for me to learn, to grow, to change into a more effective servant for Him.

it’s such a blessing.

a greater passion, a larger infilling, a deeper love

we’ll all have

if we continually seek Him.

a sustained joy, for an exchanged burden

if we all commit to His will.

i fell, will continue to fall in this fallen world

He saved, and will continue to save -

oh you precious pearl.

magic

lovely.

finally finished the  soci assignment. spent five hours on it! anyway life has been hectic. it’s all those lovely moments between it that keeps me going, smiling,

two surprise birthday celebrations! and it helped that i was so naive and trusting when they used all the cunningness they had to lure me in… springfield bag and a beautiful christian diary resulted. nice.

the adventures with children on the train.

dear dear precious moments with my family. every moment is more treasured now than ever before.

my friends are zeal. have yet to meet up with pple like Yvonee, Nam, Jingyi, Nicole, Joy, YangC, Limmos… i miss them so much. holiday you are to be embraced.

am enjoying reading some of my notes. they are actually really really insightful and interesting! apart from those, the rest can be drooled upon.

most importantly, His mercies. they make my every day new, livable, enjoying, fulfilling.

fingers and toes aren’t suitable for the counting of blessings. hair would be a better alternative.

a quickie

dunno if im blogging for the sake of bloggin since im sqeezing for time now lol but ahwell nice to ‘pen’ down thoughts – reflect.

it’s nice and rainy nowadays. i love it. except for the part where it always either makes me late for schl (i can’t get up) or it always makes me wanna sleep while studying (my bed’s right in front of my study table).

sunday was good – managed to lunch with val, finally! after all the collision of schedules it’s about time … had a good girl session at tarbucks till 430

met up with Liz (vcf senior) for the first time this week too, for lunch. was greatt getting to know each other better. she’s now doing honours in lit! =0 woo.

ytd morn- train delay due to accident/fault made me reach buona at 955am, and my lect was at ten. thank God, someone stranger asked me if i was taking a taxi (cos i think she saw my panic-ed face) and another stranger came by to share a cab too. managed to make friends with her & all, and exchanged contacts. thought she was yr 1 (she looked reallly young) but yea she’s yr 2.

im soso bad at directions & was feeling really proud of myself for knowing how to walk from the deck to the forum without looking at signs. HAHAHHA (John taught me a shorter way!) cos usually i walk with either sarah leng or a bunch or other friends to classes and theyll end up leading me and i’ll just follow along.. so i end up not taking note of where im going, or what direction or route im taking. lol.

can’at wait to meet up with Nicole, Grace and the Droogs this weekend!!!!! ahhhh shall be busy busy busy …

and btw, im still drowning in my readings. i need a lifeguard. no, more like a powerful vacuum cleaner to suck them all up and make them *poof*.

projects are comin’ in….. and Sarah leng’s in all of my grps LOL.

time management

phew i finally have time to blog. so much has been happening nowdays its crazzzy a total contrast to my good ol’ jolly slacking months.. they. are. officially. over. okay firstly, new friendships (i am so excited!) bonded in love &  faith. secondly, will be doing my film proj (spore film) with wenyi sarah leng lucille & some unknown guy! it’s confirmed =D yay. thirdly, God has been so good – helping me with the assimilation of the culture in NUS, and somehow helping me adapt to the environment through new friends, friends that are already studying in NUS (Audrey and Nicky!), and through like somehow miraculously lowering my shock at the amt of work to be done as well as the chimness of the readings (ALOT of understanding and work still needs to be done on tht). was surprised at the chimness but somehow God helped me to get over the overwhelming feeling of it all fast by reminding me clearly that HE’S ALWAYS THERE to guide me & if He placed me here, well, it’s my job to just do the best i can and leave the graduating successfully part to Him =D mmmm. forthly, i still need alot to work in the aspect of regenerating my brain to absorb intellectual theories statements readings.. well just  words. the sudden ‘diminishment’ of my vocab and my atrocious(i got the spelling of this word wrong – relied on spellcheck) spelling is.. an impending disaster waiting to happen on the script of my exam. fifthly, i realised that uni is SO different from JC. no more spoonfeeding, no more pure memory work, it has now developed onto THINKING SKILLS. i use my mind to think only of stuff that im interested in usually. so uhm yea for me spontaneous pop-ups of scholarly statements are rare. very rare. blame it on a simplistic view of things. (: while reading my readings & looking at the forums of my modules, i felt very un-smart. esp for sociology, the stuff that students said at the forums were.. way “up-there” and the readings are.. chim, but interesting. my mental note at that time was: i must get used to this, the faster the better. “this” not only meaning reading chim stuff, but “this” also meaning thinking deeply about the discipline of sociology. yup. it’s all a mind game, a psychological barrier. I CAN DO THIS(self is usually the most effective motivator/supporter). sixthly, WHY DO ALL JOURNALISTIC WRITING WRITE ON AND ON AND ON AND ON getting nowhere! and in the end the bottom line’s really simple. =? gahh. i just want the bottom line. makes me reflect on my longwindedness. =P

oh btw, i didnt go for resonance auditions. sry aud am afraid of the commitment. i wanna make sure i settle down in uni (esp in my studies) first… the more i read the more i realise i have a lot of work to be done in terms of .. everything. need to get comfy first yarh may go to VCF stuff tho… (once a week! heh)

take care all you pple out there.and tell me if you need a study partner

(week)is(end)ing

good points.

meet-up with Liang, Serene’s morning wedding, revival services… new haircut?

bad points.

the complicated organising process of balloting, a stack of readings left untouched…

need.

more time to read notes. more time to blog. more time for meet ups. more time for family. more time to exercise. more time to print out the social work notes which are found in individual books in the library (AHH) and which must be read by next week (DOUBLE AH)

more holidays. SEPT HOLS ARE COMING. (:

school strikes back

fun fun fun, at least for this week (:

monday- was going up the escalator of tamp (and was about to msg audrey back) when, in front of my very eyes, stood aud and andrew in front of me near the top of the escalator. andrew was going back home from work and aud to school. had a shock of my life and i stood there with my eyes like wide open for a few secs.. hahaha. then met Jay on the way and then i went to meet Bern at Buona vista to go to school. after my first and last lect (geog which was quite entertaining i must say) went to eat with Bern, then met up with aud for awhile and followed her to paste her resonance stuff on the walls, and then to e lib for aircon. she had to go.. so met up with Jay to go back and ended up accompanying him to find a laptop sleeve…

monday felt more like meet-up catch-up with friends day than school, lol. which is a good thing.

tuesday- met bern in the morning & went for morn lect. then tried getting all the church pple to meet for lunch but none was free except jay so met him for lunch. went exploring aft lunch! hahaha met a lost girl along the way and made friends with her . she’s was gg to SW lect too (: then went to meet Sarah Leng and her friends for SW lecture (: after that hung out with Sarah for awhile before going to cell.. cell was fabulous.

felt like another meet-up day. met really nice pple. (: awesome. most of them are from youth for Christ .. haha.

nice start to school life.

there’s this colourful exterior of your life, and then there’s this (rotting) interior…